In reality, arguments are ways of showing how diverse our minds are and should not be a reason to break friendships. If you disagree with your friends, it shows you don’t think or see things the same way, which is not bad. As human beings, our thinking is different, and most are the times that you and your friends will disagree.
Arguing is a healthy way of establishing strong friendships. And if you and your mate never disagree, it means one always gives in, and in most cases, they do that to avoid hurting the other party. But in reality, the act of shelving thoughts destroys friendships with time. As friends, both of you should express your thoughts without fear. Here are seven tips to use if you notice the conversation is going south.
Start with Things you Agree On
This is a great point to start from because it reminds you and your mate of common things you share. Once you establish a common ground, it becomes easier to put minor points into perspective.
Listen and understand their Opinion
Whether you agree or disagree, the person has a valid point according to their minds. So, refrain from dismissing their ideas but seek to understand their point of view. Not doing so might be a terrible start. It’s also good to ensure you don’t appear to be waiting for them to finish to make your own point.
Don’t Use Vague Facts
Be mindful of extremely annoying points and vague facts when trying to prove your points. Look for known facts that someone can relate to and don’t appear either biased or offensive.
Be an Active Listener
Listening to your friends as they explain their points shows a great deal of respect. Plus, when you give feedback, it makes it easier to get on the same page. You can even go further and repeat their last point to make sure you heard them right.
Make it About Them
Mostly when arguing, people stop listening when they cannot relate to whatever you are saying. That’s why it’s important you make the conversation revolve around them. The art of explaining how and why certain items matter about their personal life and experience is a major aspect of persuasion that works. This point of view shows you are not naturally inclined into the traditional approach where it’s all about your view.
Make it Look Like a Conversation
Fast and foremost, remember this other person is your friend. So please don’t enter the argument with all your proverbial fists up, but make it look like a conversation. As Jane Scudder, a certified life coach, likes to say, adapt the concept of talking with someone and not talking to someone.
This approach makes a subtle yet big difference in the outcome of the arguments. It keeps the other person cool, which gives you an upper hand in winning the argument.
If your mate starts to get out of control, the best thing is to disengage politely. In case they become too aggressive, don’t argue further but instead respond by saying, if you say so. This phrase works like a charm. It’s a classy way of ending arguments and, at the same time, retain your friend or earn a potential contact.
Though it’s hard to keep cool during an argument, you must remain calm and avoid using “you” statements. When arguing, it’s best, you use “I” statements because they reduce the chances of being disrespectful, which is the best thing to do when engaging your friend. But ultimately, don’t focus on winning the argument, although being kind and respectful will eventually see you come on top.